my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize