Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
