you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
this hospital has no fireball
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
