You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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