Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
