you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
