I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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