At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
