i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
