Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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