is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
