i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
