Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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