all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
