OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
