so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
