maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize