I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
