So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
