i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
