two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
