you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
