How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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