it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
