I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
