How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
