I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
