im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I smell like Dick and happiness
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