he wants to bone in the snuggie
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I have already put on my inside pants.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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