There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
