fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
