i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
