Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize