Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
