What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
