bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
