So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
