so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize