The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
