I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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