Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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