I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize