What did we do last night that was yellow?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize