You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
