I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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