I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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