Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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