Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
