3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
