I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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