Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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