why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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