no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
