didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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