You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
