So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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