She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
