Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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