No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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