I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
