That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Moan for me like Helen Keller
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
it was like eating out sand paper
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
