So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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