Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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