a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
