I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
