cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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